Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday

Starting in September, I begin working a full work week. That's right, Monday through Friday, five days a week, just like the rest of you working stiffs.

Which means today was my last Tuesday to myself. (Due to an upcoming Labor Day vacay, I'm choosing to work next Tuesday.) And I'm really bummed about it. Tuesdays have been my day to either act like a housewife doing laundry and cooking dinner or to act like an Upper East Side socialite meeting friends for lunch and getting pedicures (as I did today). On Tuesdays, I actually could be the free-spirited woman Mick Jagger sings about in "Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday" and do whatever I wanted.

And that has been beyond helpful to my sanity over these last few months, where my life and career seem to have been stuck in limbo. Not having to run errands after work or on Saturday meant no frustratingly long lines at the post office, always having the big washer available at the laundromat, and my pick of the freshest produce at the grocery store. It also meant plenty of time for job hunting, freelance pitching, and blogging with no interruption (or guilt, as is the case on the days when I am on the job, getting paid by the hour). Plus, it's been incredibly rejuvenating for my weekends, which could now be completely dedicated to more time with my husband, family, and friends due to the lack of aforementioned errand-running.

But just to be clear, I am by no means bemoaning the fact that I will actually be making more money, at least for the month of September anyway, when the gig is up. And hopefully, should I actually land a job in the meantime, it will be a nice segue, rather than an abrupt thrust back into reality.

Still, my experience really makes the case for a four-day work week, which multiple studies have found increase productivity and worker satisfaction. If I'm ever a boss, I'm sooooo implementing this.

Photo: Print Company

I wonder: What would you make of a four-day work week? 

2013 Was Going to Be My Year

That is soooooo not the case.

I had such a crumby 2012 that I was convinced 2013 would be great. It had to be -- it was owed to me. I started the year off hopeful, but by February, it was quite clear 2013 didn't think it owed me a thing. It started off with receiving some not-so-great-health news, followed by losing my job (six months later I'm still technically unemployed), then my cat died, the IRS came calling for a couple grand due to a prior mix up, and most recently my best friend moved to D.C. Now yesterday, I found out I didn't get this job that I really, really, really wanted.

Wah, wah. 

Sure, there have been a few bright spots, but by and large 2013 has sucked just as bad -- if not more -- than 2012. I'm so ready for 2013 to be over that when people ask my age, I reply 34. (I'm 33.) I don't do it on purpose (unless you're 20, who ever wants to get older?) but I think it just speaks to how ready I am to move on from this year, this age, and this phase of my life.

This all sounds more dire than I really mean it to be. In fact, recapping all of this, I kind of have to laugh (and believe me, I haven't told you everything). Oh, Life, that fickle frenemy. For all the crap it's thrown at me in the last seven months, it's at least shown me that losing your job isn't the end of the world, I'm stronger physically and emotionally than I've ever given myself credit for, and yes, taxes really are as certain as death.

Speaking of strength, I do still have one holdout hope for 2013: this is the year I am determined to do an unassisted pullup -- maybe even two. Trainer Chad keeps telling me he knows I have the strength to do it, I just need to get out of my own head and make it happen. Easier said than done, but I am hopeful.

Photo: CentralMass.org

An Inspiration Edition

Arianna Huffington, Star Jones and Susan Lucci

And, we're back.

Another unwanted (on my part, at least) extended absence. But today provides a much-needed break that allows for some time to blog. And while I don't have any deep thoughts to share, other people do.

I had the good fortune to attend the National Association of Professional Women's annual conference today, and a bevy of inspirational ladies were in attendance, among them Arianna Huffington (I got to shake her hand), Star Jones (she re-tweeted me!) and Susan Lucci (who I awkwardly asked for an autograph when I happened upon her in the ladies' room. She was very gracious).

The inspiration was flowing like good wine, and I came home feeling a little hungover, but in a good way, like when you were young and stayed out too late drinking way too much but the next day you couldn't feel too bad about it because you know you had an awesome time.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes, and I use the term "quotes" loosely because I was taking notes by hand and not on my best journalistic game.

Lesley Jane Seymour, EIC of More, on the changing media landscape: 
It's a different world. When I started as an EIC, I came in, did the magazine and left. Now I have to do TV, social...you can't just lock yourself in a room anymore and say "I'm going to do this."

Arianna Huffington on the same: 
It's no longer about talking, it's about listening. We used to consume news on the couch and now we consume it galloping on a horse.

Huffington on staying healthy: 
When I wake up after a good night's sleep, I'm ready to take on the world. Isn't that a great way to live life?

Huffington on Lean In: 
We also need to learn to lean back to reinvigorate. Because that's when you get your best ideas.

Huffington paraphrasing Rumi: 
Life is rigged in your favor. Turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

Huffington on how women judge themselves: 
If we can reduce the self-judgement we'd have so much energy freed up.

Monique L. Nelson, CEO of UniWorld Group, on what she would tell her 21-year-old self:
I'd forgive myself. Life happens. Either you can make it happen or it happens to you. I'd take things a little slower and not try to do so much so early. Eventually the environment took its course to slow me down.

Desiree Rogers, CEO of Johnson Publishing and the former White House social secretary, on the same: 
Don't allow people to tell you who you are.

Star Jones on the same: 
Place your health as a priority. I'm worth eating correctly, I'm worth exercising, I'm worth getting sleep.

Rogers on "having it all": 
It's a creation of my all. If I'm happy, everyone around me is happy.

Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, on the best advice she ever received:
Failure is life's way of telling you you're not on the right course.

Martha Stewart on taking a break: 
You should never retire. You should never even use that word.

Stewart's random tip on my favorite snack: 
Cook kale chips on parchment paper to make them crispy.

Stewart on hitting rock bottom: 
I've never hit a bottom. It's just a bump in the road.

The exchange Star Jones re-tweeted me on! 
Star Jones: Where does the toughness come from? Martha Stewart: Um, just dealing with crap.

Stewart on her one regret: 
That I didn't have enough children. It's just a totally different way of looking at things.

Photo: me

I wonder: What's the most thought provoking thing you've heard lately? 

In Defense of Gwyneth Paltrow and Her New Cookbook

Whenever Gwyneth Paltrow does something, there’s always a lot of hate thrown her way (see: here and here), and with the launch of her new cookbook, It’s All Good: Delicious, Easy Recipes That Will Make You Look and Feel Great, the headlines are no different.

"The book reads like the manifesto to some sort of creepy healthy-girl sorority with members who use beet juice rather than permanent marker to circle the 'problem areas' on each other’s bodies," writes one critic. “"It's All Good seems to take laughable Hollywood neuroticism about eating to the next level," writes another.

Why all the hate? Because in this 304-page cookbook, released this week, Paltrow advocates an elimination diet, in which one avoids coffee, alcohol, dairy, eggs, sugar, shellfish, deepwater fish, potatoes, tomatoes, bell peppers, eggplant, corn, wheat, meat and soy—not just for a period of time, but for the rest of one’s life.

Recommended by her doctor Dr. Alejandro Junger (of Clean diet fame) even Paltrow admits the idea was a bit overwhelming at first, and a blow for the self-professed foodie. Still, she says, the end result was life changing, and spawned the idea for this cookbook, which she co-wrote with Julia Turshen, a food writer and private chef based in New York.

Now, as an admitted fan of hers, I don’t quite get all the hate for someone simply encouraging living a healthy lifestyle, but even more so, I feel the need to remind people not to knock something until they’ve tried it. Over the course of my 30-some-odd years, I’ve eliminated whole food groups from my diet at different times and for various reasons—some were health-related, others just out of curiosity—and it always amazed me how differently, and often better, my body operated in the absence of certain foods. Some I’ve added back in and never looked back (like meat) and others (like cheese) I consider a treat food because of the effects, good and bad, their absence has had on my body. What worked for me didn’t work for all my friends, or even always align with Paltrow’s advice in this book. The point is, every body is different, and every body will have different needs, but you can’t blast someone for a certain way of life until you’ve given it a go yourself.

The lifestyle Paltrow advocates in this book isn’t always easy, and she readily admits that. “The rest of my life? Without Parmesan cheese and fried zucchini and pasta and baguettes and Pinor Noir?” she writes. “That was not going to happen, let’s face it. However, could it become my baseline?...Could I lean toward it more? I decided I could.” Without saying so, it sounds like Paltrow is following the old 80/20 rule when it comes to food: eating healthy 80 percent of the time so you can indulge the other 20 percent.

That certainly doesn’t sound like a “neurotic” and “creepy healthy-girl” way of living to me, but a balanced, healthy and realistic approach to eating for the rest of one’s life.

And let’s face it: If any diet can help us all look as good as Paltrow does at age 40, why not try it? 

Photo: Amazon

I wonder: Have you ever tried an elimination diet? How did it go? 

Daylight Savings Sucks

There is nothing I hate more than being thrown off schedule and that is exactly what daylight savings does. I know I'm not the only one to detest daylight savings -- it turns out cows don't like it much either. Writes Bora Zivkovic in the Scientific American:

Come Sunday morning, when the milking machines get attached to their udders a whole hour too early, the otherwise placid bovines on dairy farms around the United States will snort in surprise and dismay. They may give less milk than usual. They could take days or weeks to get used to the new milking schedules.

Zikovic argues that humans are no different, and that having to "spring forward" and "fall back" every few months not only messes with our sleep and social schedules, but with our life, too:

Chronobiologists who study circadian rhythms know that for several days after the spring-forward clock resetting – and especially that first Monday – traffic accidents increase, workplace injuries go up and, perhaps most telling, incidences of heart attacks rise sharply. Cases of depression also go up.

While I had no idea chronobiologists exist, I can attest that, personally, that first Monday after springing-forward is mired in grumpiness and clumsiness as my body adjusts to beginning its work an hour earlier than usual.

So why do we do it? Zikovic sees no good reason, calling b.s. on the argument that it helps conserve energy. But perhaps even more telling, Zikovic points out that we still do daylight savings because no one seems to know who has authority over abolishing this ancient rule.

So looks like we'll be doing DST until the cows come home.

My Happy Place Is for the Birds

I've come to realize I have a bit of an obsession with birds. I'm not sure what this means, though I'm sure some therapist could tell me.

I know different birds symbolize different things, but I don't have a particular fondness for any one bird. Instead, I simply enjoy the sound of their voice. Their tweets are comforting to me, so much so that I occasionally crave the sound. In fact, birds are part of the reason I enjoy early mornings so much -- before the rest of the world is awake, it can feel like it's just me and them, and they could care less about me eavesdropping on their conversation.

Still, I don't think I could ever keep a bird as a pet. We had a few finches when I was a kid and -- besides the fact that they never lived long -- I always found it sad that they had to be caged up, unable to use their wings, like a human confined to a wheelchair. It seemed to me no way to live life, no matter how tiny your brain might be.

And so when I'm feeling stressed, the birds have become my form of meditation where I run to a park near my apartment, sans headphones. The fact that to start, I have to run an overpass of a major highway that parallels a loud, above-ground subway line only makes the moment I hit the park that much sweeter -- finally, quiet, and the sounds of the birds chirping, my breath, and my feet hitting the pavement always quiets my mind. When I can't run, I switch on the music of this composer I discovered, who often incorporates the sounds of birds in his music. It's totally the kind of music you'd hear at a spa (truth be told, that's where I first heard it) and makes me feel like a bit of a new age hippie who should be in New Paltz instead of New York City, but whatever, it does the trick in a pinch.

Lately, I've trying to find meaning in this obsession, which is something I do a lot -- try to find the meaning in things good or bad. So I have been thinking about this bird-mania for a while now, which seems to have intensified as of late, and it just dawned on me that yes, I enjoy it -- can't that be the meaning? 

Photo: Watch the Birds

I wonder: What inexplicable sound soothes you?

It Ain't All Bad

I woke up this morning and had this thought about how the tagline of my blog is "Because life should be about beauty and comfort," and so far every post I've written is full of complaints or bad news. So in an effort to not feel like I'm baiting-and-switching my readers (all 164 of you so far!) today's post is going to be all about the good stuff that's happened recently.

A week or so ago, I read an article in my favorite newspaper, the banner of fine journalism that is the free Metro, about how you can train your brain to think positively by writing in a gratitude journal at the end of each day. A little corny? Sure, but I decided to try it, and I'll admit I'm enjoying the ritual each night.

Now to me, keeping a journal means rambling on about your day for at least a few pages, but this article simply recommended identifying at least two things from your day that you are thankful happened, plus the day's best moment in a sentence or two. (I further streamlined by resorting to fragments.) I've been keeping the journal for about a week now, and this morning decided to share a sampling of some of my moments so far (names have been abbreviated to protect the innocent):

Feb. 6 
Grateful for:
A's career advice
The nice guy from Time Warner Cable who slashed our bill

Best moment: 
Dinner with my best friend

Feb. 8 
Grateful for:
Y's generosity in the job hunt and in life
Dumb luck with subway train timing

Best moment: 
Passion Pit's "Sleepyhead" encore

Feb. 12
Grateful for: 
C's good news
My thoughtful MIL

Best moment: 
Submitting my swan song piece for L

As you can see, some of the moments are seemingly small but still significant to me, while others are just small. (Consider how "taking a nap" has actually made an appearance.) The only rule for the journal outlined in the article is that you cannot repeat your gratitude, which has occasionally made it hard to complete. I won't lie, there are days when I really have to think about the day's best moment and what I'm thankful for because I can only put down "my husband cooking for me" just once. Still, it's a good reminder that even on the worst or most boring of days, there is always something to appreciate.

So with that in mind...

I wonder: What moment--big or small--are you grateful for so far today?

Debbie Downer No More?

I'm not gonna lie: Part of my reason for starting this blog is a way to vent, as I've been a bit down lately. I was laid off while simultaneously dealing with some health issues, and as a result, have been forced to put some life plans on the back burner.

Recently I was turned on to the book Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl, a psychologist and one-time prisoner at Auschwitz. I'm only 17 percent through it (insane accuracy courtesy of my Kindle) but I'm constantly coming across passages that resonate for my life as it is now. That's not to trivialize what happened in Auschwitz, or even claim that my life is as bad as a concentration camp. It's not. Not even close. But suffering is something a lot of us can relate to, and Frankl believes -- and is a good example of -- how we give our suffering meaning by the way we react to it.

Howard S. Kushner points out in the forward how Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person), and in courage during difficult times.

When I first read that passage, I thought you choose one and hone in on it in order to find meaning in your life. Easy-peasy. But the more I thought about it, I realized I have all three of things in my life right now, and they are all complicatedly intertwined. And so, much like a bag of Lay's potato chips, it is near impossible to choose just one and be satisfied.

Still, I'm trying to remain optimistic (despite a tenancy toward Debbie Downer Syndrome) and follow Frankl's advice to, well -- just not think about it. He writes:  

For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: You have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long run -- in the long run, I say! -- success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it. 

So while this blog may seem the antithesis to all that, this is me, not caring. We'll see how it goes.

I wonder: How do you find courage during difficult times? 

Photo: Notes From a Scattered Mind