Friday, May 17, 2013

If You Can Make It Here...

I don't like to lose.

Today I read about the film Frances Ha, which tells the story of a 27-year-old woman who moved to  New York City to become a dancer, and is beginning to experience the hard reality that she's just not going to be one of New York's chosen ones.

It looks comically depressing, and also more relateable than any New Yorker would like to admit:


Sometimes, New York can be the perfect metaphor for life: you constantly have to adjust your expectations. The last graph of the review I read sums it up well:
It gets the spirit of New York exactly right: the constant striving, the reality that you'll forever be surrounded by people who seem more accomplished than you and the deep satisfaction that comes with making it here, even if you have to reconstitute your definition of "making it." 
Which got me thinking about my own definition of "making it." I have forever felt like "making it" in New York was just being able to afford to rent an apartment here, probably largely because in that sense, I had "made it." There was a brief period in 2012 and the beginning of 2013 when I felt like maybe I was destined for something more, but that's since crawled back into the hole into my brain from whence it came. And so I'm back to the small victory of simply being able to afford an apartment here. (Never mind that the place I've lived in for the last six years is rent stabilized, which kind of feels like cheating.)

Now, I admit that I have my moments of New York loathing, lately more often than not, where I wonder what the hell I am doing in this city that is so expensive, so competitive and sometimes so soul-crushing. Still, I am resolute in the fact that New York will not beat me. I refuse to let it kick me out, which I've seen it do to people, whether because they can no longer afford to stay in it, or because they can't find a job. Not me. When it comes time to go -- and that time will come -- it will be on my own terms.

And honestly, I feel as though when I do leave, where ever I wind up, only then will I have truly made it. Because really, if you can make it here, you truly can make it anywhere, because New York is like the boot camp that gets you into the Marine Corp. of real life.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

She Likes Me, She Really Likes Me!

Recently, I had a pretty amazing thing happen to me, but there's a little bit of back story before I can get to the amazing part.

Before I got laid off in February, I was interviewing candidates for an associate editor job. I had an appointment set with one girl, let's call her Amy, when I got the bad news. I emailed her to let her know that unfortunately we no longer needed to meet, and I was sorry about that because I really was looking forward to meeting her. And I meant it. She had an amazing resume, and had written some really fantastic, well-reported and well-researched articles for a very high-profile publication. She was very understanding about it all, and said she would keep her ears open for me.

Just recently, I got an email from Amy. "I was just thinking about you and wanted to write to check in," she wrote, and suggested that we get together for coffee sometime.

Wow, how unbelievably nice, I thought. Someone I barely know is checking in on how I'm doing, and wants to meet up, with no ulterior motive. (As I'm currently just a temp, I can't do much for her job-wise, and she was well aware of that.)

So we met for coffee the other day, and it was great. We talked about my old job, the industry, and a little bit about life. It turns out I did have a few job leads for her, which I was more than happy to share because Amy truly is such a fantastic reporter.

Toward the end of our conversation, we talked about how nice it was to finally meet in person, and she said she wanted to reach out again because she got such a good vibe from me from our email exchange. I was flattered of course, and floored at her willingness to explore her gut instinct. How many times have I met people in passing who I felt like I could really click with but never followed up with for various reasons -- no time, I have enough friends, or just plain forgetfulness? It got me thinking about how many amazing people I could be missing out on because of what is essentially laziness (maybe peppered with a little bit of fear of rejection).

We left coffee saying we'd like to get together again soon, and I left thinking to myself how I was definitely going to do that again -- not just meet with Amy, but truly make an effort with the next person I feel like I connect with.

Because who knows? Maybe one day with this small gesture I could make someone's day just like Amy made mine.

I wonder: Have you ever gone out on a limb to meet a new potential friend?

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Oof, It's May.

Well, hello again.

As per usual, I didn't intend for this extended absence to happen, but such is life. And I'm just letting life happen these days, remember?

Since I've been at my temp editing gig, I've been privy to lots -- TONS -- of free magazines, one of which is People. The mag recently started a "One Last Thing" feature on the last page of the book, where they ask a star a bunch of random, innocuous questions. Because I have nothing to report, but still wanted to stop by and say hi, I thought it might be fun for me to answer some of these inane queries.

I keep telling myself that nothing has happened that's worth blogging about, but, well, after answering these questions, it's just not true. I did discover Schmackary's after all. (If you're interested in reading the interview with the actual celebrity, in this case Sarah Chalke, go here.)

LAST FILM THAT MADE ME CRY
I don't cry often, but when I do, it's often about animals. So the last movie that made me cry was Marley & Me. I was home by myself and I tried stifling it, but once I realized no one was around to laugh at me, I balled.

LAST TIME I GOT SUNBURNED
On our trip to Puerto Rico. I slathered on the sunscreen but still managed to feel the burn.

LAST INJURY I SUSTAINED 
Over Christmas. I was doing a trail run at my parents' and I tripped -- bad. Real, real, bad. Full-on Slip 'N Slide action. I still have scars on my right knee from it.

LAST VACATION I TOOK
That would be Puerto Rico. Again. (Hmm... maybe this exercise isn't that interesting after all.)

LAST TIME I INDULGED 
Thursday. The husband and I went out to dinner in Hell's Kitchen, and on our walk home we passed Schmackary's for the first time. The smell was so intoxicating it literally formed a hook around our necks and pulled us in. I got the Peanut Butter After Dark, naturally.