Friday, May 17, 2013

If You Can Make It Here...

I don't like to lose.

Today I read about the film Frances Ha, which tells the story of a 27-year-old woman who moved to  New York City to become a dancer, and is beginning to experience the hard reality that she's just not going to be one of New York's chosen ones.

It looks comically depressing, and also more relateable than any New Yorker would like to admit:


Sometimes, New York can be the perfect metaphor for life: you constantly have to adjust your expectations. The last graph of the review I read sums it up well:
It gets the spirit of New York exactly right: the constant striving, the reality that you'll forever be surrounded by people who seem more accomplished than you and the deep satisfaction that comes with making it here, even if you have to reconstitute your definition of "making it." 
Which got me thinking about my own definition of "making it." I have forever felt like "making it" in New York was just being able to afford to rent an apartment here, probably largely because in that sense, I had "made it." There was a brief period in 2012 and the beginning of 2013 when I felt like maybe I was destined for something more, but that's since crawled back into the hole into my brain from whence it came. And so I'm back to the small victory of simply being able to afford an apartment here. (Never mind that the place I've lived in for the last six years is rent stabilized, which kind of feels like cheating.)

Now, I admit that I have my moments of New York loathing, lately more often than not, where I wonder what the hell I am doing in this city that is so expensive, so competitive and sometimes so soul-crushing. Still, I am resolute in the fact that New York will not beat me. I refuse to let it kick me out, which I've seen it do to people, whether because they can no longer afford to stay in it, or because they can't find a job. Not me. When it comes time to go -- and that time will come -- it will be on my own terms.

And honestly, I feel as though when I do leave, where ever I wind up, only then will I have truly made it. Because really, if you can make it here, you truly can make it anywhere, because New York is like the boot camp that gets you into the Marine Corp. of real life.

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