Friday, April 26, 2013

An Inspiration Edition

Arianna Huffington, Star Jones and Susan Lucci
And, we're back.

Another unwanted (on my part, at least) extended absence. But today provides a much-needed break that allows for some time to blog. And while I don't have any deep thoughts to share, other people do.

I had the good fortune to attend the National Association of Professional Women's annual conference today, and a bevy of inspirational ladies were in attendance, among them Arianna Huffington (I got to shake her hand), Star Jones (she re-tweeted me!) and Susan Lucci (who I awkwardly asked for an autograph when I happened upon her in the ladies' room. She was very gracious).

The inspiration was flowing like good wine, and I came home feeling a little hungover, but in a good way, like when you were young and stayed out too late drinking way too much but the next day you couldn't feel too bad about it because you know you had an awesome time.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes, and I use the term "quotes" loosely because I was taking notes by hand and not on my best journalistic game.

Lesley Jane Seymour, EIC of More, on the changing media landscape: 
It's a different world. When I started as an EIC, I came in, did the magazine and left. Now I have to do TV, social...you can't just lock yourself in a room anymore and say "I'm going to do this."

Arianna Huffington on the same: 
It's no longer about talking, it's about listening. We used to consume news on the couch and now we consume it galloping on a horse.

Huffington on staying healthy: 
When I wake up after a good night's sleep, I'm ready to take on the world. Isn't that a great way to live life?

Huffington on Lean In
We also need to learn to lean back to reinvigorate. Because that's when you get your best ideas.

Huffington paraphrasing Rumi: 
Life is rigged in your favor. Turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

Huffington on how women judge themselves: 
If we can reduce the self-judgement we'd have so much energy freed up.

Monique L. Nelson, CEO of UniWorld Group, on what she would tell her 21-year-old self:
I'd forgive myself. Life happens. Either you can make it happen or it happens to you. I'd take things a little slower and not try to do so much so early. Eventually the environment took its course to slow me down.

Desiree Rogers, CEO of Johnson Publishing and the former White House social secretary, on the same: 
Don't allow people to tell you who you are.

Star Jones on the same: 
Place your health as a priority. I'm worth eating correctly, I'm worth exercising, I'm worth getting sleep.

Rogers on "having it all": 
It's a creation of my all. If I'm happy, everyone around me is happy.

Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx, on the best advice she ever received:
Failure is life's way of telling you you're not on the right course.

Martha Stewart on taking a break: 
You should never retire. You should never even use that word.

Stewart's random tip on my favorite snack: 
Cook kale chips on parchment paper to make them crispy.

Stewart on hitting rock bottom: 
I've never hit a bottom. It's just a bump in the road.

The exchange Star Jones re-tweeted me on! 
Star Jones: Where does the toughness come from? Martha Stewart: Um, just dealing with crap.

Stewart on her one regret: 
That I didn't have enough children. It's just a totally different way of looking at things.

Photo: me

I wonder: What's the most thought provoking thing you've heard lately? 

Friday, April 12, 2013

Life, You Win.

Don't worry I'm not suicidal. That statement sounds more dramatic than it is. But in truth, it's quite freeing to have recently realized that I have no control over Life*, so I should stop trying to control it.

Those who know me, even marginally, know that I am a control freak. I like order, and I like to have plans. I always need to know what my next step is going to be, whether it's in Life or simply for the next morning's breakfast.

But lately, I don't care to see past the next 24 hours. In fact, I'm annoyed that my gym now requires you sign up for a class at least 36 hours in advance in order to guarantee a spot. I don't want to think ahead that far, because if I've learned anything this past year, it's that Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.

No one would argue that Life has dealt me a few blows when it comes to my Life plans. So now I'm waving the white flag. Admitting defeat. Giving up. But you know what? I'm okay with it. It actually feels good to not think about the future. I feel like this is something Life has been telling me to do for some time now, and I've been too headstrong to pay attention.

Well, Life, you have my full attention now. Right here, now, in this very moment. I no longer feel the need to have the next five years -- let alone five days -- of my Life planned out. But who knows? Tomorrow I could feel differently.

Still, I'm not going to think about that now.

*I feel compelled to explain why I'm treating Life as a proper noun here. It's because I often think of Life as it's own person, someone who is occasionally there to comfort me, and sometimes out to get me. Basically, I see Life as a frenemy.

Photo: Hannah's Hope

I wonder: Do you plan for the future?

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

It's Real Simple

Real Simple's Kristin van Ogtrop
Finally, someone puts into words this nagging feeling I've had about Sheryl Sandberg's book, Lean In.

The book is something no one can seem to stop talking about, whether they love it or hate it. I personally haven't read it, and don't plan to, as I think I've gotten the gist from those who have: young women need to be ambitious.

Sound advice for sure, but something bugged me about it. Enter Kristin van Ogtrop, the editor of Real Simple, who I had the pleasure of interviewing once. (She was very sweet and kind, and tolerated my fan girl gushing over her magazine with the best quip, which I've forgotten exactly, about how she loves nothing more than to hear how much people love the magazine).

But back to Sandberg. I'm reading van Ogrop's editor's letter in the magazine's May issue (something I always do and who a marketing friend once told me research shows no one ever does). About Lean In, she writes:
Here's the thing: I don't want to be striving bigger/better/higher/more every minute of every day. I don't always want to have a larger goal. That just sounds exhausting and worst of all, completely joyless. I want to enjoy my days: past, present, and future. 
And I thought: that's it. It's all this striving women are told to do that's bugging me. I certainly don't judge people who are ambitious; I've been there and to a certain extent still am. But it's this notion that we can't -- or shouldn't --  be happy where we are right now that I think is ineffective for everyone, female or male.

I spent a good portion of my young adult life striving and wanting something more. I've often thought to myself, "Things will be perfect when..." or "I can't wait until..." When I was in high school, I couldn't wait to get to college. When I was in college, I couldn't wait to get out on my own and work in the Big City. When I got out on my own and made it to the Big City, I still wanted more -- a better job at a well-known magazine with an apartment all to myself. I got all those things and more, and I value each and every one of them and the experiences that got me there. But the thing is, I never appreciated what I had when I had it, because I was always after this "something else." Looking back now, I often feel like I missed out on truly appreciating the awesomeness of where I was at that moment because I was so focused on the future.

And so I'm trying hard not to do that now. After reading van Ogtrop's editor's letter, it dawned on me that the reason I have no interest in Sandberg's book is because she's giving advice I don't necessarily want to follow. I also found it poetic how the editor of Real Simple managed to make a complicated feeling I had so, well, simple.

In her conclusion, van Ogrop nails it better than I ever could. Speaking of her own Lean In epiphany, she says, "When I stopped myself in the office kitchen, I suppose I was telling myself to lean back for a moment. I don't really want to lean back for long. But I don't want to lean in, either. I know I'm most comfortable standing straight up."

Me too.

Photo: Real Simple

I wonder: Have you read Lean In? What did you think about it?

Thursday, April 4, 2013

In Defense of Gwyneth Paltrow and Her New Cookbook

Whenever Gwyneth Paltrow does something, there’s always a lot of hate thrown her way (see: here and here), and with the launch of her new cookbook, It’s All Good: Delicious, Easy Recipes That Will Make You Look and Feel Great, the headlines are no different.

"The book reads like the manifesto to some sort of creepy healthy-girl sorority with members who use beet juice rather than permanent marker to circle the 'problem areas' on each other’s bodies," writes one critic. “"It's All Good seems to take laughable Hollywood neuroticism about eating to the next level," writes another.

Why all the hate? Because in this 304-page cookbook, released this week, Paltrow advocates an elimination diet, in which one avoids coffee, alcohol, dairy, eggs, sugar, shellfish, deepwater fish, potatoes, tomatoes, bell peppers, eggplant, corn, wheat, meat and soy—not just for a period of time, but for the rest of one’s life.

Recommended by her doctor Dr. Alejandro Junger (of Clean diet fame) even Paltrow admits the idea was a bit overwhelming at first, and a blow for the self-professed foodie. Still, she says, the end result was life changing, and spawned the idea for this cookbook, which she co-wrote with Julia Turshen, a food writer and private chef based in New York.

Now, as an admitted fan of hers, I don’t quite get all the hate for someone simply encouraging living a healthy lifestyle, but even more so, I feel the need to remind people not to knock something until they’ve tried it. Over the course of my 30-some-odd years, I’ve eliminated whole food groups from my diet at different times and for various reasons—some were health-related, others just out of curiosity—and it always amazed me how differently, and often better, my body operated in the absence of certain foods. Some I’ve added back in and never looked back (like meat) and others (like cheese) I consider a treat food because of the effects, good and bad, their absence has had on my body. What worked for me didn’t work for all my friends, or even always align with Paltrow’s advice in this book. The point is, every body is different, and every body will have different needs, but you can’t blast someone for a certain way of life until you’ve given it a go yourself.

The lifestyle Paltrow advocates in this book isn’t always easy, and she readily admits that. “The rest of my life? Without Parmesan cheese and fried zucchini and pasta and baguettes and Pinor Noir?” she writes. “That was not going to happen, let’s face it. However, could it become my baseline?...Could I lean toward it more? I decided I could.” Without saying so, it sounds like Paltrow is following the old 80/20 rule when it comes to food: eating healthy 80 percent of the time so you can indulge the other 20 percent.

That certainly doesn’t sound like a “neurotic” and “creepy healthy-girl” way of living to me, but a balanced, healthy and realistic approach to eating for the rest of one’s life.

And let’s face it: If any diet can help us all look as good as Paltrow does at age 40, why not try it? 

Photo: Amazon

I wonder: Have you ever tried an elimination diet? How did it go?