Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Your Burning Baby Questions, Answered

Since the baby news broke, I've been fielding a lot of questions. Herewith, are my answers:

1. How did you find out you were pregnant?
This requires a little back story. A few days before we left for a vacation with Jay’s family in Hilton Head, I had gone in for some blood work with my doctor. They called pretty quickly and said I needed to come in. After some back and forth leaving messages and whatnot, we finally connected during a drive back from the Tanger outlets, where I had just scored a $400 Coach bag for $140. (Sorry, had to brag about that.) I said I was on vacation and anxiously asked, "Why the urgency? What did the blood work show?" "You’re pregnant," the nurse said, seemingly as shocked as I was about to be. "Whaaat?!" was my reaction, and I immediately pulled into the first parking lot available. Jay was with me, and from the big grin on his face I could tell he knew what the nurse had just told me. She said it was very early, about 4-5 weeks, and that I needed to be very careful, and I needed to come in first thing when we got home. Yes, yes, yes, I replied. We hung up, I articulated to Jay what he already knew, and we got out of the car to celebrate. I then made him drive home, where I proceeded to worry about all the things I had done in the last few weeks that you’re not supposed to do when you’re pregnant, like eat cured meats, drink, and go through the x-ray scanner at the airport.

2. How did your parents react?
Because we found out so early, we were hesitant to tell anyone, but because we happened to be in Hilton Head with all of Jay’s family—who we likely wouldn’t see again until Thanksgiving—we decided to tell them. Having never done this before, we weren’t sure how to go about it, and so as we were sitting outside after dinner, Jay blurted out, "So Mom, funny story…" and reiterated the day’s events. "Jason, that’s not funny," she reprimanded him. (Even at 33, the use of your full name is never a good sign.) It took about 30 seconds to convince her that he was, in fact, telling the truth, and then all, of course, were joyous.

We got home on a Friday and decided to go to my parents’ that Saturday to tell them. Christmas is kind of a big deal in my family. We make an annual pilgrimage to Pennsylvania to cut down our Christmas tree, and my dad especially loves the holiday, so before we left Hilton Head, we visited one of those year-round Christmas shops where I picked up an ornament that had two snow people holding a sign that said "Best Grandparents." Once we arrived and settled into lunch, I gave a gift bag to my mom and said, "We picked you up something in Hilton Head." She opened it, and looked a bit puzzled. "Is this for real?" she asked. My dad, previously disinterested, asked to see what it was. "Really?" he said. For those of you who know my parents, you won’t be surprised to hear that my mom cried (happy tears, of course) and that my dad almost immediately made some reference about how he can’t wait to rough the kid up.

3. How do you feel?
Absolutely fine! I’ve had zero morning sickness, and aside from being a little more tired than usual in the first few months, there are no other obvious signs I’m pregnant. Four months in and this kid's been so chill that I'm pretty sure I could have been on an episode of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, or as Jay likes to call it, Oops I Crapped a Baby.

4. Do you have any cravings?
Not really. If anything, I’m eating more carbs than I normally would, but I can't tell if that's a true craving or me just easing up on my everyday low-carb diet a bit.

5. Any names?
A few. But nothing that really has us excited yet.

6. Are you moving?
Not for the time being. When we first found out I was pregnant, I still didn’t have a job, and so the idea of leaving our rent-stabilized place didn’t make sense. And now that I do have a job, it still doesn’t make much sense, mostly because every time we start looking around we realize what a good deal we really do have. Call us idealists, but we’ve done lots of research on raising a baby in a one-bedroom apartment (and have talked to people who’ve done it) and it seems the key is minimalism. And in case we have a crier, I intend to make our upstairs neighbor a lot of cookies.  Still, once the kid is more mobile, I’m sure we’ll be forced to rethink this approach.

7. Will you find out the sex?
This one has been an epic debate between Jay and I for quite some time. I’ve always maintained that it’s one of the few true times you will be surprised in life, so I don’t want to find out. His very logical rebuttal: But you could be just as surprised when the doctor tells you at the appointment. Touché. Given that we’re having difficulty agreeing on names and we won’t be moving (see questions 5 and 6) I’m beginning to come around to his idea, but I’m still reserving the right to change my mind at any moment.

8. But you just got a new job! Do they know?
They do. My current boss is actually a friend and so she was one of the first to know, and it rid me of that worry about when to tell a new employer when I actually did land a job.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

I Got a Job!

It’s been 19 days since my last post, and as you can see, I finally have something nice to say. This job is one I’ve been striving for for a while now. It’s a big one, and while I’m not entirely prepared for it, I think I’ll be okay at it.  

What is this new job, you ask? 

Well, I’m going to be a mom

The salary is quite crappy—non-existent, actually—but I hear the benefits are amazing

Currently, I’m 15 weeks along and we’re due April 5, 2014. I’ve actually known about the little bean since August, and so hopefully all my faithful readers now understand my random bouts of bitchiness and anxiety-induced whining about still not having a “real” job. Thank you for bearing with me. 

One thing’s for certain, though: this wasn’t unplanned. It’s something Jay and I had discussed, and part of what I hoped would make 2013 my year. When I lost my job in February, we talked about putting our plans on hold, but we ultimately decided there’s no time like the present. Like the chorus in the prolific Jimmy Eat World song “23” goes, you’ll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time. And if I’ve learned anything in the last year, it’s that trying to control Life and make it perfect is no way to live. Mostly because Life won’t let you live that way. 

That much is evident based on how Life bestowed me with this great gift but at the same time didn’t give my stress levels much of a break. (Welcome to the rest of my life, right?) I will elaborate on all of it in a later post answering some FAQs I’m quite certain a lot of you may have, but for now I’m intent on keeping things positive. (And if you’ve got a Q you'd like answered, feel free to throw it at me in the comments.) 

Now the pragmatic among you may be wondering what, in fact, I plan to do to earn money now that we'll have another mouth to feed. Until very recently, I had these horrifying visions of myself being a pregnant woman on unemployment, but Life finally decided it was time to cut me some slack and I’ve been offered a full-time job at the place I’ve been freelancing at for the last eight months, which I’ve gleefully accepted. Hooray! So I guess, technically, I now have two jobs. (When it rains it pours, the squeaky wheel gets the oil, and whatever other apropos clichés I can throw at this bit of news applies here.) 

Thank you all again for your patience with my whining as of late, and for your emails and notes of support. I promise that for the time being, the tone of this blog will change for the better—mostly because Life finally seems to be headed in the same direction.